This story is called "The Best 15 Minutes". Make of that what you will.
“You know, I realize now why I rarely spend any time with your kind. You are all immensely boring.”
“Yes, that is exactly how you build communication. Insult everyone. You are a true genius.”
“See, you say that to be humorous, but it really all means nothing. Much like your existence.”
“Look, we can banter all day, but my opinion stays the same; I don’t like that fancy french place. The food tastes weird.”
“Ignorant bluster. That fanciful feast-”
“That’s a brand of cat food. Cat food tastes better than that crap.”
“Sorry if I am unaware of your pop culture inanity. I have better things to do with my limited time.”
“Yes limited, this from the fool who just finished binge watching arrested development.”
“It’s a good show.”
“Not the point”
“Your mom’s the point.”
‘You aren’t good at this.”
“Awning knights.”
“Now you’re just spouting gibberish.”
“Oh, am I? Think about it, who need gargoyles when you have awning knights? Truly avant-garde.”
“You know, I think you just love to be pretentious. This is like a short fiction piece entirely in incoherent dialogue.”
“Yo, the fourth wall called.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s suing for damages.”
“And yet you claim you do not know pop culture? Brilliant.”
“I know everything. I just have a hard time recalling sometimes.”
“Now you’re just boasting. If I remembered anything from my chemistry class, I’d make a joke about how your head is denser than… I dunno, pure carbon or something. It’s been awhile.”
“The neanderthal reveals his true nature yet again.”
“Shut up.”
“In binary, I’d be the one. Do you know what that makes you?”
“Another one, probably.”
“.... dang it.”
“I am victorious. Kneel before me.”
“Your mom kneels before me.”
“Wait that joke actually… kind of…. works! EUREKA!”
“I literally had someone yell EUREKA in my face. I’m dead inside now.”
“Well, you’ve smelled like it for YEARS.”
“SAYER is an anagram of YEARS. Which ironic because all I ever hear you do is WHINE.”
“I think tangents are close to the point compared to you.”
“You know who else is close to the point?”
“Oh please stop that.”
“Well, you should stop the random beeping in the background.”
“What beeping?”
“Well then it must be your alarm because you must be DREAMING if you think I’m gonna stop!”
“You should join the circus. I’ve never seen someone stretch so far.”
And then they both died when the bomb exploded.
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